In my heart today.

If you have ever tripped over a big stone in the street

and made an involuntary, undignified grunt,

or stepped on your skirt going up the stairs, lurching like a buffalo

or snorted your juice out of your nose, laughing

in front of people you barely know.

If you have fallen off your bike,

or been launched off your rickshaw into traffic

(much to the hilarity of teenaged boys watching)

If you have muttered to yourself when you turn around

realizing you are going the wrong way

(saying, oh, actually, I was going the other way- just in case anyone is watching)

If you have said stupid things to your children

(like, if you don't like my food I guess I'm never cooking for you again!)

and regretted it

If you lie down on your bed on your face sometimes

lie there and cry because you are not what you want to be

your life is not what you want it to be

you are still small and clumsy

newborn and old,

If you stub your toe in the dark, bump your head hard, and feel

angry and sad and five years old...

 

I love you at that moment.

and not only me.

His soft breath is all around you.

In fact, that may be when you are closest to the very heart of God.

when you are clumsy, newborn and old.