I'm here...

Although I'm drowning in a pool of my own self-pity, which disgusts me, and then that disgust for myself renders me useless. And then I start banging my head on the fridge again. And that doesn't help and it puts dents in my head, so I should probably stop it.

But I love you guys. You're so nice to me. What great friends I have, even across the wires (and lack of wires). We're also having trouble with our satellite wireless system here and so I can't get internet in my cabin right now. Only here at the Big House.

***

Yesterday the YaYa Sister managed to perform a feat that I didn't think was possible. She outdid even the time Kid A forgot which way he needed to be facing in order to poop in the toilet. Chinua and I were talking and we could hear her in the background, sitting on the potty in the bathroom with the door slightly ajar, talking to herself about pooping. "You POOPED!" she was saying, in her "big" voice, a voice that is hilarious because of its big smallness. "That's so EXCITING! You're so GOOD! YAYYYYYYY. You pooped in your POTTY!" We laughed a little at her as we talked, so blissfully unaware of the horror that was about to display itself to us. She hadn't called for me to come and help her yet, so I just waited, continuing to talk with Chinua. And then she started crying and we ran to the door and!!!!

She had tried to pick up her potty to empty it, I guess, and then decided to set it back down, only she tripped, and it was flung, it was flang, it was throwed, all over the wall! POO! (Not solid poo) ALL OVER the WALL! And the floor and the trash can and just, well, everywhere.

I opened the door and then my heart failed me, I tell you the truth, I chickened out, and not quietly. And my Superstar Husband did the most heroic thing that I think he has ever done and cleaned it up for me. Oh, love. When your man cleans up the poop wall for you.

My life is amazing, these days.

The other interesting thing that happened yesterday is that Leaf's shoe went missing as I was changing his diaper. I couldn't find it anywhere, one of his little leather Robeez shoes, so I just stuck him in some other shoes, assuming it would turn up later. That night, as I was getting him ready for bed, I noticed a dark patch on his cloth diaper, in between the slightly transparent nylon cover and the diaper itself. Was it more poo, on the outside of the diaper? Was I prepared for more poo? But no, it was the shoe, the missing shoe, trapped in his diaper. I mean, this is like a soft leather moccasin, so it's not like I left a tennis shoe in his diaper and didn't notice, but STILL.

I think I need more sleep.