I think I did cry, a little. My eyes were wetter than normal, anyways, although I don't think any tears actually fell.
I was just tired. This morning I called a tanker again to get some water because no water had come for a few days, and our tank has a hole in it, so we need water every other day. At least this time I knew that I all I needed to do was call the tanker, pay him the equivalent of seven dollars, and have our tank filled with water that would seep out into the jungle. However, the hole is maybe a fifth of the way down the tank, so we have that one fifth left.
While the water seeped, we did everything we could to use it, before it left. Everyone got a shower whether they wanted one or not. Everyone had their hair washed, whether they wanted to or not. And actually, everyone needed all of the above, because, like I said, it had been a few days. But it meant that I spent the morning bathing everyone. Which is great! Except for the crying. And the whining. Do any of you have kids that act as though they are being tortured when REALLY what's going on is someone is pouring lovely warm water over their heads and then massaging their scalps gently with nice-smelling shampoo, and holding a towel kindly to their foreheads every few moments to make sure that no dreaded water gets into their eyes?
I mean, I would pay money for it. I would not stand there, naked and wailing and carrying on. But, I also would not spend half a day delighted by the antics of a caterpillar, so I guess it all evens out.
So. Everyone washed and all the laundry done and the dishes clean and the house somewhat picked up, and Jaya and I were ready to hit the market. I'm getting a lot better at the driving thing. You just have to grit your teeth, honk with the best of them, and drive into the tiniest spaces you've ever seen. Chinua was home with all the kids while we went.
We split up, did our shopping as quick as we could, and then walked around in the sun looking for each other for as long as it took us to shop. I told Jaya where to meet me, but then she wondered if she heard wrong, and we walked back and forth, missing each other.
Anyways, I'm losing my point. My point is, eventually we got home, and I found myself, in the afternoon, trying to help Kid A do some math, and realizing, look, Rae, it's the hottest part of the day, you won't get anyone to do anything now, so don't even try. So I told the kids just to play, put Leafy down for a nap, took the bucket of food scraps down to the neighbor's pigs, and set the bathroom trash on fire in the backyard. Just when I was sitting down with a cup of chai, ready to read for a half hour or so, I heard it. The baby crying.
I still had things to clean, emails to write, faxes to send.
And that is when my eyes got a little wet.
And that is also when I decided to chill the heck out. I picked up Solo, sat down, and hung out with him for an hour. We looked at each other and smiled and talked and I didn't cry. The kids played pretend stuff, and I listened and laughed. And when I finally had put the baby to bed, a sweet Italian/French couple with their two kids stopped by because they had heard about our family and they wanted to meet us. We made arrangements to get together on Saturday.
And oh, I don't hate my life, I love my life. I just need to slow down, sometimes, and look around at who I'm with.