Home, home on the range.
A lot of opinions on homeschooling! It’s a loaded topic. (By the way, I don’t make a habit of jabbing people with forks.)
Indian people here are unused to the idea of homeschooling, but open to it. I am almost never challenged on it by the locals.
In many countries in Europe, it is illegal, so unheard of! Their school system tends to be more thorough, and they don’t have the pioneer background of North Americans, which many people in a way feel that they can return to. Teaching our own kids, back to the multi grade school system, stuff like that.
The woman I met the other day had desire to listen. She would ask me something and then interrupt when I tried to answer. I think she felt that she was being honest, but for a first meeting, it felt incredibly judgemental to me, especially from someone who didn’t have kids. She appeared to believe that I haven’t thought about my decisions and the pros and cons of them at all.
I don’t have a very strong stance on homeschooling. I have a strong stance on creative, interesting, education for kids. I like literature based curriculum. I like a lot of imagination. I like Singapore Math. Weighing all the options (and boy do I weigh them. I weigh them and weigh them and weigh them again. And then I measure them with a teeny tiny measuring stick that I carry in my wallet) I believe (and Chinua believes with me) that homeschooling is best for us right now. For our particular mix, at this particular time, in this particular village.
So there you are. And yes, socialization. Ahhhh, socialization. Well, I can say, that the only way I learned to socialize in school was to stay away from the mean kids and anyone who looked cool and hide in the art room. It’s a form of socialization, I guess.
My kids have friends from Italy and Germany and England and India. They have adult friends and kid friends. And they have each other. They may complain to us about their upbringing, when they get older, but I think they will actually enter the adult world with grace and confidence and the ability to be flexible. I know that they have a voracious curiosity about the world around them, and that they can find Turkey and Israel and India and Germany and Russia and Canada and the U.S. and … well, you get the point… on an unmarked map, because they’ve learned that the shapes on maps are real places, and it might be possible for them to see them someday. Kid A would like to be an explorer when he grows up. I’m not sure what he will explore, but… he has time to decide.
So there you go, my views on homeschooling. Maybe one day we will live where there is the school of our dreams, and I will say, “Off you go! Off you GO! Get out of my hair and get someone else to teach you stuff!” Or maybe I will teach them until college. Who knows? We take it from year to year. And I think for mothers that the feisty guilt demon is always gnawing away at your shoes, and you just need to put your fork in your pocket and kick that guilt thing in the head, like it deserves.
(I’m home, by the way. I have more to share about the writing vacation! More to share!)
35 comments
Thanks for this post. I’m going to start keeping a fork in my pocket. =)
Being open to other people’s stories, choices, lives does not come naturally (I have found). It’s hard work to see the world from someone else’s perspective.
You have taught me that – my dreadlocked, India-dwelling, home-schooling, novel-writing, Christian community-planning, Superstar husbandering, fork-wielding blog friend.
I am short-haired, have no desire to visit India, loved every minute of sending my kids to school every day, never wrote a novel and don’t plan to, and I’m Jewish. So what? Reading YOUR posts about YOUR life makes me so happy. I celebrate your story and your choices and thank you for sharing themwith us in your blog.
Eleanor´s last blog ..Some advice please
Yes, my French friends absolutely cannot grasp the concept of homeschooling! But then, the French govt feels responsible to make it possible for every French child to get a proper French education, and pay for it if the parents can’t. And the French educational system, while rife with problems, actually gives kids a really good education. What a concept.
But I can so relate to the guilt. I have my kids in the French system, and it works well for us and our lifestyle and where we live, but I stll worry a lot about if I’ve made the right choice. Except, there really wasn’t another one that would have worked for us. Sigh. Where’s a fork?
edj´s last blog ..Fabric Shmabric
another day of “you are the bomb-ness! Be well dear friend… much hugs to you! (and as a Ina (mother) who will home school her child (ren) I back ya sista!
people with no children always think they have the best advise. silence is golden. a little nod and an “uh huh” and a well timed sprint have always served me best.
When I hear in your writing about your enthusiasm for educating your children in the most creative, natural, whole living way I wish you were my mama. How lucky your children are to be met where they are.
I am a 44 year old mom who wishes she had had the courage to live her life so authentically and consciously while her son was growing up~
Laurie´s last blog ..Day #8 Master Cleanse
Lovely post dear about educating your children. I love Eleanor’s comment too and I agree with Laurie…your children are lucky.
“Well, I can say, that the only way I learned to socialize in school was to stay away from the mean kids and anyone who looked cool and hide in the art room. It’s a form of socialization, I guess.”
Yes, I can relate to this kind of socialization.
‘Homeschooled kids are soooo unsocialized’. Kind of like ‘Dreadlocks are soooo dirty’, in that I’m always surprised by people who actually say and believe this stuff.
Emily´s last blog ..some days, “content to wait patiently” comes easy
love your write on homeschooling. I think a lot of time it isn’t that I am so ‘pro-homeschooling’ or ‘anti-school’ as frustrated about why it is that I am always always challenged how my kids will be socialized, it is never about what kind of education they are getting or what kind of people they are becoming. I think guilt is something we battle on either side of the education choice, so lets encourage one another on our journey’s.
Cristal´s last blog ..Today
this is a wonderful post!
Cat´s last blog ..Willow, Birch, Cherry, Grass, Plum
You mentioned that you like Singapore Math workbooks. I do also. I also wanted to mention A Word Problem A Day work books that we also like. The Singapore Math word problems aren’t the books’ strength, so we do the other word problem book as well. I blog on this and other education topics at http://pragmaticmom.com. See entry: Math Workbooks.
pragmatic mom
pragmaticmom´s last blog ..Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Adults
Way back when when I was in school it was a fun place to be, but I was probably over-stimulated/overly socialized because I really didn’t learn very much of anything. Home schooling was just starting out when the kids were young, so it really wasn’t an option, and I was a little intimidated with the idea of trying to teach them as well. I tried to do the next best thing and get them out of the public school system, and put them into a Christian school…..not sure if that was better or not. But I do know that they all turned out wonderfully, and are talented, capable adults.
I know the circumstances are dictating to some degree that you homeschool your children, but from what I’ve seen about children who are homeschooled (and what I regret in not doing it) is that the children and parent are so much closer than others. I believe as one encourages and teaches their children there is a bond that forms that is wonderful. May you be able to do it for as long as you want, even into high school. I was talking to a lady last night who actually took her kids out of school when they reached high school because they were failing in the system, they’d fallen through the cracks, they couldn’t even read except at a grade 5 level so she taught them, so that they could graduate.
Good blog by the way!!!
I’m SO with Eleanor!
Paola
I enjoy your blog and can practically feel the love you have for your children. I have been reading your blog for awhile and did not realize you homeschooled until lately. I have homeschooled my children for the last seven years, and it has been the right decision for us as well. You are a beautiful, creative, and loving mama. Your children are truly blessed.
I’ll share a naughty little saying that I learned from my very southern and very wise bible study teaching mother…”opinions are like butt-holes (or insert another more ugly word there if you’re feeling feisty and decidely un-ladylike)…. everybody’s got one!” When this little gem of truth is shared with nosy, bossy and controlling people, they tend to keep their advice to themselves.
Jennifer´s last blog ..Looking Back
I admire your commitment to your children and to your community. Ah, guilt! I am a teacher who dreams of homeschooling. I often feel guilty for both my disloyal thoughts towards public education, and the 50 or more hours I spend away from my own children each week. I’m off to arm myself with a fork…
I always say, “It’s a new, prayerful decision for our family and for each individual child, each year.” There’s no RIGHT ANSWER for everyone everywhere at every time, and yet it is so often debated as such, isn’t it? People, we’re different, our families are different, God’s plans for us are different, and we’re all accountable to God for our own choices only. Rock on, Rae.
What Marian said – ditto!
And I should start carrying a fork, a tiny one, just to keep in my pocket so I can think on it and laugh in what may be a stressful/uncomfortable situation
lagata´s last blog ..Love…
Hi Rae,
I’m reading you as an expat living in China and I definitely feel a comraderie over this issue of wrestling with the decision for THESE kids at THIS time in THIS place.
I was homeschooled for a few years as a kid and for other years was in public school. Raising my own children now, I tell you I often wish there were more ideal circumstances for them. But, there really is NO ideal circumstance. Wherever you are, there are benefits, and there are sacrifices… even loss. I just linked you in my last blog (hope you don’t mind:) because I’ve been thinking through this very issue of being okay with just where you’ve been placed. Thanks for sharing. Love reading.
Christine´s last blog ..knitting my head around it
Rae, this was really encouraging to read. Oh, the feisty sense of humor about jabbing strangers in the chin with a fork… I know you couldn’t do it but it’s the mama bear in us, right?
I look forward to more of your writing vacation posts.
As a homeschooling mama I find myself often on the defense….defending against ingnorance.
It gets old.
Going to learn more about Singapore math.
Thank you.
“…because they’ve learned that the shapes on maps are real places, and it might be possible for them to see them someday. ” Now that is Real education. Beautiful.
I agree with Eleanor too!!
soft rock´s last blog ..Well, I never!
I used to hide in the art room too! We would have been great friends, and honestly I don’t think we turned out too bad!!
April Alexander´s last blog ..Going Green
I’m a lurker that just had to comment because I *was* homeschooled and I *did* get socialization and I *love* my life. I think the doubt about your decision is always there as a check to make sure you stay engaged in the process. If homeschooling fits your personality and those of your kids then it’s golden.
Now I am an expat int’l school teacher in Rwanda and I find my classroom style to be independent and fluid because I wish I were homeschooling my students. I consider it a day well spent when I can facilitate investigations into the world. It’s much more difficult to do that institutionally.
Pros and cons, pros and cons
My mother taught me and my siblings for the entirety of our educations. We have all come through Uni with flying colours, and are socially adept, to boot. Keep a good grip on your fork, and use it on the guilt monsters as well. Your children are getting the education of a life-time.
Kohana´s last blog ..Adopting from Haiti
I always think about homeschooling my kids. Well I don’t have kids yet but it would be real nice to home school them. I think homeschooling your kids is awesome for various reasons. Ms. Rae its good that you like a lot of imagination put into homeschooling your kids because to this day I sit in class daydreaming with my imagination because the so-called teachers sucks the fun out of everything! LoL! You and your kids are forever blessed Ms. Rae! Much Love
Frank´s last blog ..A New Beginning
just stumbled over your blog and really like your thoughts!
I am looking forward to read more.
greetings from a german-moroccan-mama xxx
itto´s last blog ..Sweets for the cold Days
i love your views on home schooling. and i think i have them too. we are seriously contemplating it, especially as we would like to make travel a big part of our lives in the next 10 years or so. and especially because my brother and s-i-l are both teachers (amazing) that can barely stand to teach in the environment and culture that has been formed on our places of learning. there is so much bull shit testing and rules and regs that they are mired most days and getting disillusioned to their initial intentions.
add into that the fact that my kids have been socialized by three generations of family living under one roof and that i am slightly terrified of the upper mid class suburbanites in this area and it makes home school (or at least charter schooling) sound much more attractive than convention. we will just have to see.
and i have been reading here since leafy was born and it always looks to me like you have thriving healthy engaged and wonderful (though i am sure i occ challenging) children. you are doing just fine, mama.
mamie´s last blog ..Making on Thursday
Hmm, I’d say what you actually do is “World School.” I teach- yep every day, and more than what they get, or not, academically, I’m apalled by the socialization they’ve clearly never gotten- Children who don’t acknowledge when they’re spoken to, children who shake hands and pass the peace without ever looking at the person who addresses them, children who don’t know what to do and will trip over six other students doing what they are supposed to in order to interrupt the teacher, who is talking to another adult, to ask what they need to do. Uh, huh, if I were you I’d sign those sweet babies up for socialization classes tomorrow!
Kimberly´s last blog ..Just a Wee Bugg
I love “knowing” you and Eleanor and finding myself in middle ground. I have two who I think should have been homeschooled. I never could have done it. It wasn’t done then. Not considered…and there was no blog world to support me. But both turned out fine.
As it is I cannot IMAGINE your children being anything BUT homeschooled. And though my experience of you is that you are a bright and intelligent woman – you would not have to be to be giving them, at this time, an unbelievably wealthy education. They are learning and seeing and experiencing things most of us will never have the privilege of learning. Yes, you could send them off to school each morning but I don’t think they’d learn as much. (I do hope I’ve expressed this sincerely without sounding trite.)
blackbird´s last blog ..a note from the office
Isn’t schooling such a hard decision? Right now we are moving in the middle of my daughters preschool year (I know its only preschool) and I’ve decided to hold off and just enjoy her while my husband deploys. I definitely believe that a child needs to experience and creatively learn. We do that a lot here in our house. I try to plan ahead, but I really can’t, because I don’t know what my daughter will be like at that exact time, where we’ll be living and what her and my son’s needs will be. So my husband and I have decided to take it moment by moment.
I’ve been thinking about homeschooling because my son has special needs that are not being met in the public system…your post is making me feel better about the option.
J´s last blog ..Happy 7th Birthday to my big boy
Was that your fork in the sand that I stepped on? hehe
I love this post
Renee´s last blog ..Home
Just found your blog and love it. I’m a huge supporter of home education and I very much agree with your belief about what education should feel like, no matter where it takes place!
Great video I think you would enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0
Love this post! I have homeschooled my kids since my oldest was 5 – he is now almost 21! I have graduated 2, and have 4 more to go…we love it because we love to learn and have developed a lifestyle of learning…I laugh about the socialization stuff too – my kids are ‘over socialized’ if anything! They too have adult friends and kid friends…they like all people and are interested in people.
I know that I will miss it when my youngest finishes….but he’s only 4 so we have a long way to go on our learning journey!
Deanna´s last blog ..Sew Happy!
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