As much as one can study from the shore
The good news is that it’s a baby tooth.
The bad news is that it will be three to five years before it grows back in.
The good news is that he’s cuter than ever.
But still… I have this wistfulness that comes from knowing that his appearance is changed permanently, now that there was pushing going on in the shower and he slipped and fell and he cried for about five minutes and then was better, now he will never look the same. I wasn’t ready for that baby tooth to be gone yet. Sigh.
***
I have added new layers of BUSY to busy. We are beginning a meditation center in the Christian tradition, here in our village, and construction is commencing right now on our rooftop. (Eventually we may get a building, but, as they say here in India, slowly slowly.) The construction has nothing to do with me- Cate is designing and overseeing the building, but what DOES have to do with me is the week of teaching and workshops taking place right now.
Our friend has come to do some lectures and expand our knowledge of meditation: Eastern, Western, and all the middle bits. He leads a monastic life with his wife, the type of life where one prays in a cell and builds buildings with rocks that one has quarried, and one bakes bread with wheat that one has not only ground, but grown, harvested, and threshed. And one has no electricity.
His knowledge is of the doctorate variety, and his presence with us is of the fun and fresh variety. We’re enjoying the lectures, the meditations, and the conversation.
(Kid A: I had a conversation with Evan the other night.
Me: I noticed. What did you talk about?
Kid A: Oh… almost grownup things.)
But we have been busy, meeting until almost eleven every night, and then starting over in the morning. Yesterday everyone drove off to look at churches and ruins in Old Goa, and I stayed home because, as I told everyone, it wouldn’t be fun for them or us, to drag the kids around for the day.
Staying home looked like this:
Watering the garden. (I’m obsessed. I touch and whisper to the new growth on our plants everyday.)
*
Walking to the painting for kids workshop.
(Me: If you can’t behave, Kid A, I won’t bring you back.
Kid A: That’s okay- I don’t really like painting.
It’s true- he never has.
Me: Sigh.
Kid A: Do you know what my real job is? (Announcing to the class.)
Elaborate pause.
Kid A: STUDYING DOLPHINS.)
I refrained from telling the teacher that once upon a time I was a painter too. I just let her tell me about colors and mixing and sat with my baby, laughing into his face, in my new life.
*
Bringing a friend home for the afternoon. There is a coffee house here which is run by the friend of a friend, a man from Manali. His daughter came to the painting workshop with us and then spent the day at our house, braving socially inept attempts to impress her by the boys. (Kid A, painting on his face and spraying others with the spray bottle while at the workshop.)
*
Having a Belgian friend who is here studying massage give me a free TWO HOUR MASSAGE. Wow. It was the nicest thing that has happened to me in a long time. What was happening with the kids? Ratatouille. The movie, not the food.
*
Eating the kimchi that our Korean friend made. He is going to teach Chinua how to make it, and then I will be in heaven, sitting on the floor cross-legged, throwing it into my mouth. I LOVE KIMCHI.
*
Having the surprise delight of Cate volunteering to sit with the kids after I put them to bed so that I could go to one of Chinua’s concerts.
I sat and dreamed of the day that I first heard those songs. I watched his every move from the front row, singing along, clapping loudly. His biggest fan. It was wonderful.
16 comments
I love kimchi too, can I have some with you? Remember that time my SH was given all the juice from it and asked if he would like to drink it at our local Korean restaurant in Edmonton? He kind of backed off from that challenge.
Poor Leafy, a missing front tooth. I was really surprised when I saw that picture, thinking he’s not big enough to lose his front tooth (oh yes he is). You do sound busy.
I’m glad that you got to hear your SH’s concert – I remember the time we went to one in San Francisco with you and we enjoyed it so much as well. So many memories!!! Good ones!
Wow! That was alot. I loved it all and am excited for you. My Z lost a tooth at about that age, maybe a year older. When the adult tooth finally came in many years later I found myself missing the winsome hole. And he missed shooting water through it.
I hope you got a secret thrill sitting in the front row watching your superstar husband, knowing that as all those people were loving watching/listening to him he was probably thinking that his superstar wife was in the front row and he was loving watching you whooping and clapping!!
my children had some teeth fall out too early to, but tht was because of a very bad dentist, so we won’t talk about that anymore. He does look cute with that little hole. Glad to hear of friends, and husbands, concerts, and special gifts like a night out and free massages. Those are the things that make the hard days easier, and sometimes even truly lovely.
All 4 of my kiddos lost their front teeth prematurely. I understand how you feel. Mia lost her front 2 when she was 3, and I still miss her toothy smile.
O my that boy looks so big! What a sweet face. So glad you got to watch your husband and really enjoy it. I know that is a rare time. Glad you are all well. Thinking of you.
Hi Rae, I’m de-lurking but have only been on your blog once or twice – I had to send one cautionary comment your way, however, and please believe I’m not saying it to be a downer. However, one of my good family friends tripped down the steps when he was a little boy and lost his two front teeth. It wasn’t until years later when his adult teeth came in quite all over the place that an x-ray showed the two baby teeth had actually been pushed back up into his jaw. I know that’s an awful story, so I’d hate to have it happen to little Leafy! Just make sure you saw both the tooth and its roots, and best of luck to you and your family!
Wow – that meditation stuff sounds great! I know, certainly in the Kiwi protestant Christian tradition, we’ve lost that whole contemplative aspect to our faith journey. Would love to hear more about your friend and what he teaches.
That a boy Leafy. Although it might have been a traumatizing five minutes…he looks bad ass and he will always have the pictures and memories to share of the many years he walked around minus a tooth. We all have those stories…like when Becca put me on top of the cushions stacked on the doctors chair and spun me around. Priceless.
When Oliver was about…gosh, I don’t know how old he was – one and a half, closer to two, maybe, he fell and smashed his mouth on the legs of our rolling computer chair. I was sitting in the chair and he was toddling over to me…just as I reached my arms out to swoop him in to my lap he fell, and he fell so hard that he didn’t have time to break his fall. His mouth did it for him.
Once he stopped screaming and the blood stopped squirting out I realized that he’d chipped his front tooth. And it wasn’t a small chip, either – it looked like half of his front tooth was missing. It looked terrible, it looked sharp, it looked painful…it didn’t look like my baby.
I panicked. I flew to my dentist’s office, all tears and stress. They told me if the tooth didn’t die then there was no reason to pull it out, since it was a baby tooth. And you know…it didn’t die, and it has really become a part of him. It says so much about him and his personality – rough and tumble, a chip – literally – off the ol’ block.
And I have gotten so used to seeing that chip that when he loses that tooth and a new, unchipped one grows in, I think it’ll take me a while to get used to.
what struck me is how gracious you were not to let the teacher know that you knew how to paint.
De-lurking again. With each paragraph I was thinking, oh I have to let her know how much this resonates, or how funny that is, or that is my favorite section. Then realized, Rae, I loved this whole post. Thank you.
Sounds busy… as usual. I always appreciate the little glimpses into your life. I sort of picture myself along for the ride, the silent and invisible friend walking the streets of your village and catching glimpses of you and yours. I would love, though, to be there for real, neither silent nor invisible! I’m glad Evan is able to be there with you. Sounds like good stuff. You’ll have to keep us posted on the Kimchi. I’ve been learning about fermenting vegetables too. So far I’ve made one called cortido, that is more of a Latin American version of Kimchi with cabbage, carrots, and onions. It’s pretty yummy, and oh-so-good for us!
Much love to you friend!
My oldest daughter knocked out her front tooth when she was 3. It took about 6 years for her to get both front teeth again, but she utilized the space well. She loved to squirt water out of the space, she could whistle something fierce, she still bites apples with her eye teeth. It all became part of her unique story, and now that her big teeth are in, all is well, that part of her story is the past. Just one more thing that bothers the mom way more than the child, in my experience. He is adorable!
You are amazing — a funny, delightful, lovely, and incisive inspiration to me, every time I read. Truly. You are also a great writer. Keep chipping away at your book (says the pot to the kettle). I first found your blog through Catherine Newman’s column, by the way. I am now a huge fan of you and your whole awesome family. (And please, keep sharing bits of Chinua’s muscial genius — is he on YouTube anywhere? how can we find him if we don’t know his name?).
yours. LT
My sister’s husband’s brother’s wife (who is also my friend!) is a massage therapist, and when they come to visit, I get freebie massages too. but there are so many of us lined up to get them that they usually last 30 minutes, which is still amazing, but 2 hours? Wow…
I got a 1 hour massage when they came to visit for my wedding. it was part of the gift
And your life seems truly to be lived with a purpose. I really admire what you’re doing, taking your spirituality and your love of God and having it move you to other places and giving and doing. This is something that exists in all religious traditions, I think, although sadly, we so often ignore it.
For myself, I am trying more and more to pay attention to that aspect of my religion (Islam) that is about doing and contributing, and to include some contribution, big or small, into every day, whichever way I can. Reading your blog and remembering that others are doing so much more than I am helps me when I’m overwhelmed. Thank you for being so inspiring Rae
Leave a Comment