Things I don’t know

I don’t know what it is like to love a child who has grown up.

I don’t know what it is like to lose something that I treasure above all other things.

I don’t know what it is like to be the remaining spouse.

I don’t know how to grow old.

I don’t know how tall my children will be.

I don’t know the depths of my husband, despite our years together.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, despite my plans, despite my ideas. I definitely don’t know about next year. And I don’t know what the consistency of my friendship is, whether it helps in grief, whether I am as clumsy as a pup, or slightly okay.

I know that I love so much, clumsy as I am.

3 comments

1 #1mama { 03.12.08 at 11:47 am }

But you will gradually learn all of that…… and you love well.

2 Eve { 03.12.08 at 1:12 pm }

Rae, I have no doubts about the consistency of the friendship you offer to others. The self you offer here is a profound blessing to me; I’d be so grateful to have a friend like you.

I am quite sure that by just being there in your way, you are a nourishing person to have nearby when one is awash with grief.

3 sheri { 03.12.08 at 5:07 pm }

supposedly you double their hieght at 2 years old. Jaben would be around 6’4 ish.

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