Things are moving rather quickly now
Last night we returned from our trip to the City and we are back in the Forest. I love my shade. And my peas are doing very well. The broccoli? Not so much. Oh well, I am learning.
We stayed with some dear friends for a bit, which was amazing. The kids had a blast, and we drank coffee and talked for hours. And we caught glimpses of other friends who break my heart with their dearness. (I sound like my Grandma.) Too short, too short. I mean, I literally caught a glimpse of my friend Curtis as he ran from work to sleep to school.
We slept on a church floor while we were in San Francisco. It was interesting to see what a wimp I’ve become. Ten years ago, I slept directly on the floor quite often. I even slept sitting up in vans, slept on the grass in the open at rest stops, slept on chairs pulled together and in backyards and sometimes I didn’t sleep at all.
Now my sleep is very precious to me. For obvious reasons.
We had a great time, it was fun and we met a lot of people. But I was interested to observe how exhausting it was to take care of the kids under these circumstances. Traveling from place to place, figuring out what to feed them, (and ourselves) keeping everyone busy and entertained. And the question came to me, what is a home?
I mean, at home we do the same things. We eat, we sleep, we play. But at home it feels safe and relaxing, while when we were away it felt a little tiring. I wanted to go home, at the end of it, looked forward to being in my own place. What was I looking forward to?
I ask because we are moving to India. And things are moving very quickly now. We may be moving away from our home here within the next couple of months, and we’ll be traveling for a little while before we settle into our new home in India, wherever that may be. It is vastly, amazingly exciting. We have been longing for this for years, since we last left India, right before we were married, and now it is coming to pass.
But what makes a home? I know that my longing for home springs from something eternal. I know that it is about more than four walls and a front door. I know that I am very simple in my needs. Give me enough space and some beauty and I’m fine. And enough space here, in this house, is about 850 square feet. But I need more than space, it is something more central than that. It is like a web of security, and I’m beginning to realize that I have been placed here to weave this web for my children. Even as we move around.
Some things that come to mind are routine; a rhythm that pulses through every day faithfully. Not easy when you’re traveling, but necessary. Familiar objects, maybe; a certain tapestry or picture that moves with you from a wall in your home country to a wall in a hot country across the world. I know that at this stage in the growth of my children we are their home.
Do you have any ideas about making a home wherever you are? I would love to hear them.
17 comments
I too realized that a home is just where you are – it’s what you make of it – even though I’m feeling a little bit in limbo right now – that’s what it is! Someone asked me what makes a home for me – regarding my few possessions and I realized that my colored glass made a big difference to me – no matter where I live if I can put my cobalt blue glass in my kitchen window – then it’s home to me. So, wherever I go, even if it’s overseas, I just have to move a few cobalt bottles in my suitcase and I’ll feel at home. You might have a tapestry that makes you feel at home, or a musical instrument.
When my kids were younger, wherever they were with me was home, now with my husband, home is with him. God is my home as well – I was thinking about His being my centre and my home. He is my shelter and that is part of what home is – a safe place, even if it’s just a room or two, it’s where you go to regroup and replentish.
How exciting for you! I’m quite jealous
I’ve never traveled overseas…and to live there…wow.
I have a framed Story People print in our RV that says this:
“Whenever I go on a trip, I think about all the homes I’ve had & I remember how little has changed about what comforts me.â€
Just like #1mama said…there are a few things that truly feel like home and it’s best if they are mobile
For me, it’s my favorite teapot and teas. And the comforter on my bed. It’s also rituals. Morning time with the Lord. A special passsage in the Bible. Or certain foods that bring comfort.
This passage also brings me hope…that someday I will be TRULY content without the comforts of “home”:
“I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.â€
Philippians 4:12 (The Message)
I am just so excited for you guys…what a wonderful blessing. I hope that you’ll continue to share your journey through it all.
love…
sara
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being trapped indoors with small people for a month thanks to -40 weather is a special kind of hell that i know far too well. after two winters of it i decided THAT’S IT, we’re moving to victoria where they have canada’s mildest climate. but the closer the fall comes the more hesitant i get. isolation in winterpeg can be reduced by having roomates, getting a car, going out no matter the weather. isolation in a city thousands of miles from all my closest friends? so we changed our plans this week. we’re staying home where the warm and welcoming arms of our friends are always around us. if we were going to india that would be different, but moving for something as trivial as weather? who ever heard of something so silly?
Home is a place where you feel encased in “You”-ness. It is a place where you feel free to be yourself completely. It’s also a place that is predictable, a place where you don’t have to ask where the utensils are located. It’s the place where you feel the most in-control. It’s your domain — even if it’s a shared domain with a spouse and children. You have a say in where the lamp will be placed and what food is eaten. There is “ownership” of the environment, and I don’t mean in a money kind of way. You have a personal investment in the space and it feeds you, personally and emotionally. Because of this, a true home should give us power. It is a refuge into ourselves that, like sleep, rejuvenates us for the days ahead.
Good luck in finding (and forming) your new home! Love, M
Dori came over to swim yesterday with her short people and I’m giving you a heads up because she didn’t know you are moving and she thinks you should have told her already.
It was so great to see her, we both kept thinking of you.
Home, routines, morning and bedtime. Rituals, for us it’s Shabbat fridays, but things that you do together that are the same every time, no matter where they take place, the same songs, the same order the same prayers. This could be any dinner or breakfast even.
Pictures that say, look, this is our family, this is how long we have been joined together, this is when you joined us, this is your history with us. And blessing blankets. Quilts with a different blessing written into every square that were done for them at their baby shower. I think those will follow us everywhere.
The main thing for my kids is the predictability of what happens from day to day. They have hit the age when they like to make plans and anticipate things and so I go out of my way to let them know how things are going to go as far in advance as possible, and I tell them what has to happen first, and all of the details that help them to deal with it when it does happen, especially if it’s a change in the routine. Does that help?
I had hoped to visit you at the land one more time. It doesn’t look likely now does it?
I resonate with you, and the others, with the idea of rhythm. Daily, weekly, yearly, I think having things that everyone can anticipate is really important. We moved a lot when I was a kid, and to this day, I don’t get that attached to buildings; home is where family is together. Home is safe, it’s where we share meals together and with others, it’s where we are totally free to be us. It’s where we’re loved most of all. For kids, especially, I think some familiar “things” are important too. Obviously those things will be different from family to family.
One of the things I’m loving about being in a liturgical church is the sense of rhythm, the sense of having stepped into something ancient and beautiful and much bigger than me or my generation. I love the subtle changes in the services throughout the year, the reliving of various events in Jesus’ life, and the anticipation of them coming around again next year. I also love knowing that I could step into an Orthodox church anywhere in the world and the same songs would be chanted, the same prayers prayed on any given day. And even if the language is different, there will be a familiarity and a comfort in it. It’s different, but I’m liking it. I’ve always been attracted to the liturgical cycle, and am enjoying the process of becoming more familiar with it. Obviously, for our family, this will become part of our tradition too, part of the rhythm of our lives.
I’m excited that things are coming together for you, and look forward to hearing how God works our all the details. And I really, really want to come visit you in India!
Are you still coming through here sometime this month?
My husband and I are preparing to move to Asia with our small children, and I often think about this idea of home. For us, home has become the small rituals we take part in as a family. Things as everyday as what we say to each other when we wake up in the morning and things more serious, like our evening prayers. Small children feel so secure in their family when routine is maintained. Now, if you figure out how to do that while you are on the move, let me know! I think at least making sure to establish those things once you are in your new home is a good start. And as everyone else has said, a familiar object or two can’t hurt. Maybe you could ask your children what “home” means to them. They seem like the sort of kids that would have some profound thoughts on the subject. God’s blessings as you go, and may you be centered and at home in His love wherever you are. (I enjoy reading your blog, though I rarely comment. If you would like another blog to read by a woman living in India, a young mother and a gifted writer like yourself, I can send you the link.)
I didn’t know that you were back to blogging until you commented on my blog! Welcome back! I’ve missed reading about you and your sweet little family
This post and all the comments resonate with me so much and where I am at today, preparing to move in just 10 days- yipes! I really dispise change, so it is hard for me to pack up our life and start anew. I hadn’t thought about the concept of your family’s rituals being “home”- I like that and feel like it is something that could help us feel at home sooner.
And I am so excited for you and this new adventure for your family- India! My husband and I have always had a desire to live with our family overseas at some point, so I am very interested in reading about your journey, especially how you do it with kids! I will be praying for you as you prepare to go these next couple of months.
xo Andi
P.S. Five seasons of GG all at once!? I think I would be in heaven
like some of the others, i have moved a lot all my life. i used to think that i liked the changes, but i now realise that it was because my parents provided a very stable, secure place for me and my siblings. wherever we went, we had each other and that has been the thing i’ve held onto.
now i’m married and in my first home, but even now i brace myself to realise that i cannot hold onto the place as much as i would like to sometimes. i don’t have any children yet, but it does scare me a bit to think that i’m a big part of providing that security i was blessed with as a child. i take comfort in reading all about the others and what they’ve learned as they’ve gone ahead.
peace is so much more than surroundings, its a reflection of what is in your soul… and you never have to leave it behind!
Have you read “The creative Art of Homemaking” by Edith Schaeffer? The title brings to mind the 50′s, and Leave it to Beaver and all that, but that is not what it is about. It is about being creative, because our Father is creative and we are created in His image. As image bearers, Edith says, we should strive to bring art and creativity into the home to create a space set apart for our family. It is a lovely book, and what you wrote brought it to mind. God Speed.
Wow, you have all really thought about this issue. Melissa, I think your thought about things being predictable might explain why it was so exhausting for me this last week. I hadn’t thought of that. There are so many little things to do when you are traveling, and if you have to search for everything when you need it, it’s worse.
And then, the rituals, the quiet time, story time, the little things we bring with us to make it like home. All of this is so good.
I’d say this will be easier for the children since they mostly need their parents to be with them to feel home. Also you will develop a travel rhythm. So, don’t worry.
And how exciting. Moving to India. I hope you will tell us about it.
Although I’m late in commenting the only thing that keeps coming to mind is “new normal”. No matter the ritual, the rythym, the surroundings, the food and trappings of a new home…it can all become the new normal for you. Any place or surrounding becomes decidedly more comfy when it’s accepted as the norm. I know you’re grounded enough to see Jesus as your Rest- your Home, so I gather what you’re wanting is ideas of how to keep some of what you love where you are now with you in a completely different place. Other than things you take to remind you of this precious time-the time when your babes were small- the only thing I can suggest is to keep the memories alive for everyone by telling the stories again and again. Pour over photos regularly to keep images fresh in your minds. Kids love family stories and with the telling and re-telling it becomes your oral history. Very cool. Even though you are being asked to lay down the place you love and embrace a whole new home, the memories are yours to do with as you please.
Oh, and by the way, India! How exciting. My husband is traveling there in Dec. for business and I’m so sad that I can’t go. Maybe next time.
Change can be difficult. It’s so neccessary though, and I’m excited for you and yours. May God make this road a straight and smooth one for you all.
Wow—India! What an opportunity.
It sounds corny, but you will bring home with you in the form of your lap, your cradling arms, your familiar voice standing out in a crowd of the unfamiliar. You’ll have each other. I agree that the routines and traditions you honor now will need to find a special place wherever you go—India or across the street.
Wishing you all the best with this big and exiting move.
Edith Schaeffer writes so beautifully about home and family and what I’ve gleaned from her I can’t begin to express nearly as well. Get your hands on “What is a Family” or “The Hidden Art of Homemaking” – you’ll be blessed. Their family of 7 moved, traveled and lived in community and she had a strong desire to provide continuity – bringing treasured possessions from place to place, preserving traditions, etc. So excited for what’s ahead for you!
I have read “The Hidden Art of Homemaking”, but not “What is a Family”. I loved that she had so many ideas about including your children in what is going on around them… including having people into your home and discussions around the table.
Of course I will keep writing. Couldn’t stop me. And now I’ll have even more things to write about.
I love what you have to say about home, Gretchen, and what you have to say, Jennifer, about an oral history. I need to begin telling the kids stories about themselves. They love it.
I agree with everyone about rhythm and rituals that make a home.
Things that make a home for me:
1. Home has a comfort fit.
On our third move in the small town we were living in, I woke up the first morning and didn’t know where I was. (age 10) Just stayed in bed not moving trying to figure it out until I remembered.
Now when I move the movers always laugh and say everything is in the same place as it was. Yup that’s correct, as much as possible.
2. Smell.
I always bake cookies as soon as possible. I share them with new neighbors, coworkers, who ever is around and then the place begins to smell like home.
India! I’m jealous. Since I’ve met my old friends in Germany I love to cook Indian food cause the house smells so good it reminds me of visiting their home.
3. Music of home.
Every child that’s been in my house or car (on one of those long Panhandle drives)knows the kid songs (Jesus loves me, Jesus loves the little children of the world, The BIBLE, Ittsy Bittsy Spider) and many Christmas songs.
4. Busy Kids around.
Always having had kids around it just didn’t feel like home when I moved to Germany to work for the Army. Used to have parent break times at my house or take a group to a neighborhood park or McDonalds to play.
Home has gotten quiet. Can’t wait to babysit the next generation!
Rae, all the best in you’lls new adventures!
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