Which side of the bed did YOU wake up on?
Sometimes I wonder why I’m so darn unstable. I love blogging, I hate blogging, I’m happy, I’m sad now and I’m crying and don’t even try to make me feel better, because if you do, I will become angry. And then I will be sorry, and apologize, and you will become angry, because I apologized one too many times. Just for the record, I don’t ever hate writing, or reading comments (Who hates reading comments? Nobody, that’s who, because getting comments rocks.) just that weirdo feeling I get when I think that whatever I’m going to write is going to be stupid, or when I don’t want to be whiny, but I’m feeling whiny, or when the internet at my house is not working, so I have to do all my posting at the Big House, and that sometimes feels practically impossible.Â
She’s whining. She’s WHINING. About doing something she likes. Somebody shut her up.
Maybe a couple of hours of having my butt kicked in West African Dance class will sweat this mood out of me. It will certainly humble me, that’s for sure. Nothing like stumbling across a dance floor, desperately trying to mimic the movements of a woman who is drop-dead gorgeous and almost thirty years older than you as she effortlessly shows those drummers who’s boss, for laying you out gasping and repenting of all your bad attitudes.
Attitudes like, poor me, poor, poor me. And like what am I, your servant? And this always happens to me.Â
Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I’m going to bust out the camera and get some shots of these adorable children who are flocking around my house. And I’ll do some therapeutic laundry hanging and a little bit of knitting and knit myself into mental stability. Right.
9 comments
Rae, I lurk but rarely comment. Thanks for sharing. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day.
Remember that each morning is a fresh new day!!! Hang in there!
While your knitting yourself some mental stability, then knit one purl one for me too. It’s All Aboard for Whacko Land in my head today also. I’ve decided that if I wear a lot of long and graceful Indian skirts (well, not a lot of them. Wear them often, I mean. Im not going to wear 8 at once) then I will be serene and centred and wise and people wil come to me for consel and peace. Although it’s now got tomato sauce and I suspect just a little bit of chook poo, on it, so I’ll start again tomorrow.
Eva
If it were possible to knit myself into a state of serenity my whole family would wear only handknit wool. But the excercise will help and the worship at the temple of mundane service.
Love
You don’t sound whiny. I worry about that too. Sounding whiny. But you don’t sound like that at all, even with all of the big things that have happened to you and your husband over the past few months. I think you are doing an amazing job and that you will look back at this time in your life as one of incredible strength and growth and accomplishment. It’s just hard to see right now because you’re doing it. And strength and growth and accomplishment are very tiring.
you’re not alone sister…i am just as unstable and on good days the energy aligns and it all feels sane!:) You know what else, I have been dreaming about african dance for three days now. looks like i need to find a place…and watch (i am reminiscing about how much of a workout that really is).
enjoy your creative therapy tomorrow.
Also a lurker. I enjoy your page very much. I am going to see my sister today. For. 2. whole. weeks!!!!! And I get to play with her babies…..who aren’t really babies. I was teary when I read about what you said about your sister- some one who looks like you and teh such. I couldn’t agree more. My sister and I are 15 months apart in age. She is my big sister who understands all my jokes and gets my funky mood……. Back to the current blog, I have never tried african dance. It always looked so neat,but I have 2 left feet and can fall over at any time
. You don’t whine, your human. So tell us about your not so happy days too. Then we like you even more because we know that you are honest.
maybe you could put a video of yourself doing west african dance on youtube and make a link so we can watch. that would be fun, he he.
Rae, I think I like you! … At any rate, your writing ALWAYS speaks to me. Even witty descriptions of egg people.
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